Step 6 of The Healing Series
“Do you think that you are going to one day arrive to this healed place?”
I looked at my therapist after telling her all of my frustrations and realized that on the other side of my answer would be some hard truth that I needed to hear.
I answered yes and the tears started to fall. I believe me admitting that broke something. I really thought there was destination in this journey, how could there not be?
In the midst of my tears, she told me that “There is no destination in healing, God will continue to reveal different broken parts of you in each season.” She continued to affirm me as I cried. While the news was hard to hear at first, I realized that hearing this had a positive outcome as well.
That I could be on an ever-evolving journey that would always result in me growing into a better version of myself so there is no need to rush, measure, or judge the process.
Since Healing is a journey and not a destination, below are a few things to keep in mind:
1. Most wont celebrate working on your intangible growth, I’m here to tell you it matters.
In the era of gender reveals, big proposals, graduations, and huge going away parties, it seems like we are celebrating all the external things with little to no mention of the internal. Can we start having healing parties? I mean can we commemorate the day we started a healing journey? Somebody has to see and recognize this growth right? Wrong. We live in a society where if it is not celebrated and known then it probably didnt happen. This was a hard reality for me because I was working really hard and because it did not look like normal success to me, I questioned the authenticity of my journey. This is where you have to commit to a journey that is more about what you see and who you become and less about others celebrating or recognizing. Are you willing to stay on the journey if nobody is applauding? I have learned to applaud myself becoming detached from the validation and whether someone says anything or not, I am already proud of myself.
2. Healing is about authenticating what you’ve been through.
The reflection that this journey brings on will cause you to carefully examine your past. In doing so, you will realize the things you once did not think you would make it through you have. You will also start to see the purpose of why things happen to you. You will see that your path is authenticated in your healing. For example, you didn’t get into the school because God knew you were not ready and if you went you would’ve never wrote the book that has the potential to change lives. Or he closed the door on a relationship because he knew it did not align with your purpose. He ended the friendship because he knew they would not be able to go where he was trying to take you. He did not let you get the job because he knew he had something better. I have lived long enough to realize that God operates in the better for our lives and everything he removes, he replaces with greater.
3. Your healing is not just for you
As you walk along this journey, you will realize that your healing is not just authenticating your past, it gives you context and perspective to empathize with others’ journeys. The moment I decided to take this step, my life became a breeding ground for healing. It was all I talked about, it was how I related to people, and most importantly it became easier to see how much growth was happening as I became even more transparent with my process. I started to realize that somebody’s breakthrough is contingent on my healing. I saw that the more I committed to this work, the more people I could help. Brokenness is not specific to one person as everybody will deal with the woes of life. My boldness in standing in my truth opened the door for others to be just as open about their process. I came to see that my healing wasnt just about me and what God was going to do on the other side of this, it was about how my story could inspire someone else to take the step to transform their lives.
4. Inner not outer —there is no measure
Outer work is easier to validate as that usually has a final product or result that can be measured. This journey taught me that there is no true measure to inner work. Not only is it a never-ending journey, life continues to happen as you are healing each wound. If you are anything like me then your healing will include examining and finding the source of more than one wound at a time which can be difficult because one may take longer than you think it should. The moment you feel relieved in one area, something else will pop up and you’ll question the point of your process. Growth is often immeasurable as the width and depth is determined by each person which makes it even more personal and unique to you. I am learning that eventhough this process isnt quantifiable, it becomes more freeing when you realize that true inner success cannot be counted but only developed.
5. Saying it is different from believing it
“I’m still healing.” is a phrase I used many times during my journey yet I would get upset when I feel like I shouldve got over something quicker than I had. I realized that there is a difference between making a definitive decision to heal and actually operating from a place of belief to actually doing the sometimes repetitive work. I was so used to saying it casually that I didnt authentically believe. We tend to say things that sound and feel good but its hard to believe that or even understand whats happening while you are in it. When you made the decision to heal, you also needed to understand that this process requires a different version of yourself. If you don’t come to this resolve, you will struggle with actually walking in your healing. It will be more about the talk than the actual walk. We have to walk all of what we are learning completely out or we will find ourselves in never-ending cycle.
6. Healing is the preparation to receive all that you manifested
Once you have walked in a place of belief in your healing, you will realize that this process begins to open not only doors in your heart but in your life as well. It is as if the God and the universe conspires to start giving you unexpected opportunities. I remember I had a season where though I was still healing, things were beginning to unfold in my life. I kept attributing to Gods favor which was also a big part but one of my friends had to remind me that the things that were happening were not just happenstance. She reminded that its not random and that they were the result of the time I took to spend with myself and God through my healing process. I am thankful for that reminder because I almost forgot that this journey has opened more doors than favor and my gift could have ever opened. I do still believe your gift will make room for you, but I believe even more in the fact that healing will allow you to manifest the things connected to your purpose. So as you are on the journey and something spectacular happens for you, remember to thank God but remember your healing is opening doors.
Continue to cultivate who you are called to be
Though this is the end of the series, it is only the beginning of your ever-evolving journey. The healing series was created to give you a transparent walk through my journey and what I have learned along the way. I pray that this has not only assisted you on your walk but has provided you a personal homegirl holding your hand providing encouragement as you experience the various seasons attached to this process. Never stop healing, evolving, and growing. I am so proud of you for making it this far and always remember you deserve healing.