You ARE Capable of Love
As a child, you dreamed of love. You watched movies of the damsel in distress getting saved by her prince charming and dreamed of one day having your happily ever after. But as you began to grow up, your belief in love shifted. You started to see how hard it could be, how difficult it is to find, how it could possibly hurt you, and how it doesn’t always meet your expectations. When you tried, it seemed to fail you. When you opened up, it seemed to hurt you. When you gave it another chance after being hurt, it seemed to disappoint. You start to wonder, “Am I even capable of love?” We ask this question when we have allowed the brokenness of life to take over the love that is inside of us. I urge you to ask yourself the following questions before you dare ask yourself are you capable of one of the main things God put us on earth for:
1. Do I really love myself?
2. Have I accepted all of me?
If you are struggling to answer these questions then the answer is no. If you have to guess and say maybe I think, the answer is no. Let me also ask you this:
How can you expect anybody else to love and accept what you don’t yet?
The main fallacy in the Disney and romantic movies we’ve watched is they fail to show the necessary self discovery process through God first before we are capable of unconditional love to others. We live in a microwave generation that wants the glimmer of love without the actual work or process. We want to be #RelationshipGoals yet we do not know who we are.
When the process is neglected inwardly, we limit the experience of love that we can feel outwardly.
Let’s break down the scripture used in almost every wedding to express the sanctity of love and ask ourselves if we’ve learned to love ourselves in this way:
1 Corinthians 13:4,7 NTL reads as follows:
“Love is patient and kind.” – Have you been patient with yourself in your journey or have you blamed yourself for every trial convincing yourself that you don’t deserve the best?
“Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way.” – Have you been self-seeking in your life allowing yourself to be ran and controlled by your own motives rarely thinking of others?
“It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.”- Do you keep a record of every failure in your life and rehearse them in your mind, ignoring the healing process?
“It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.” – Are you truthful with yourself and your journey? Or have you coped through life aware of your flaws but never allowing yourself the patience it takes to do the inner work necessary to change?
“Love never gives up.”– Do you repeatedly give up on yourself and God?
“Never loses faith.” – Is your faith faltering every time you face a trial or tribulation in your life?
“Is always hopeful.” – Do you have hope for things to come forth in your life?
“Endures through every circumstance.” – Do you quickly give up when faced with hard situations or do you believe that you can endure?
I ask the questions above with every part of this scripture because if these are things that you struggle with, it will be difficult to expect someone else to do for you what you haven’t been willing to do for yourself.
When we learn to love all that we are and who God created us to be, we don’t:
• Search for happiness outside of ourselves because we realize it’s in us and we have the ability to be happy even when we aren’t attached to others.
• Expect others to fill voids in our life that only God can because you end up wounded when you place someone in a position that only God can satisfy.
As you look back over your life, you may realize that you have often been immature with one of the deepest feelings in life: LOVE. Maybe you didn’t know what to do and have been loving wrong the entire time. Maybe you saw so much heartbreak around you that you refused to get hurt and have protected your heart to the point that love has not been allowed in completely. Lastly, maybe you’re just beginning to learn how to love yourself.
Whatever it may be, its okay because you didn’t know any better!
But now that you know, as you begin to search your past and try to piece together what got you to this point, understand that even your deepest hurt has purpose and that many relationships or “situationships” had to end for your protection. That protection can hurt because of your lack of knowledge in what you feel you needed to be saved from. You cannot foresee the future that only God can. Don’t you know that God loves you so much that he can’t allow you to remain attached to just anybody? He cares so deeply about your heart that he won’t allow your heart to be so damaged that there is no room for repair. You will come to see that his protection has reasons unknowingly to you and it is ultimately for your good.
Whether you’re waiting or opening up yourself to a relationship, make sure you’re constantly rediscovering the love within yourself. Though our generation tries to write self-love off as a selfish act, it is self-care and integral for the journey into future relationships. Don’t hurry the process of getting yourself together for the purpose of being with somebody, but get yourself together for YOU first. Whoever you are meant for is attached to your purpose and will come in Gods timing, so start pouring into yourself. When you’ve spent the intentional time to really get to know yourself and your heart, you will require the same in a mate.
It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, how many times your heart was broken, how many times you thought this time is it, how many times you’ve given up on love, or how long you’ve been single and waiting, you have to know that you are STILL capable of love. It’s possible and it’s out there, but it is imperative that you first find the love within yourself and in God.
Choose today to start the process of loving all that you are and will be.
Always be reminded that you are worthy.
You are valued.
You are deserving.
And You ARE capable of LOVE.